I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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