Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
