The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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