Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
