Say something about gay babies.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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