How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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