I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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