i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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