Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
sarcasm needs its own font
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
