Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
