last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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