If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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