Whod you bang
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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