thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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