What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
