Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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