True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
