i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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