Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
