I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
