The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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