Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I want to make a zoo with you.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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