if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
