It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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