Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
