I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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