She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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