smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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