I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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