escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
