just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
