There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
