just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
