ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm at about main and main street
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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