Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
