dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
