Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
