Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I CAN MOONWALK!
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
There's always time for handjobs
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
