Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
