taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
