Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
