note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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