It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
