Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
