Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
