I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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