My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
