currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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