i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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