idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
