So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
