guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
