I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
