You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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