i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
